November 20: TAILS – Never Say Never (What is something you thought you’d never do or say, but now you do?)
Hmmmm…..Well this could be another six part post. But I will try and condense it into a simple HorT entry. My oldest daughter (who reads this blog daily and suggested this story) is bi-polar. I didn’t know that for the longest time. Long story, as short as is possible, she was diagnosed with depression at the age of 8. Continued problems, yada, yada. Possible OCD diagnosis, possible ADD, possible who-the-f*ckknows. There was no decent psychiatric care in UT those days. At any rate, my point is, she had some issues. Not quite the regular teenage issues, but a little more serious. Bi-polar disorder’s number one characterization is making bad/risk taking decision. So on top of all the issues most 12 year olds go through, she also was bi-polar and made decisions that we did not always agree with.
She gets into a relationship, which I freely admit, I was okay with at first. She had been so isolated and lonely and I was happy she found someone she could relate to. Unfortunately, it was a boy and it progressed way further than any parent would have liked. Let us just say there is activity that was “inappropriate” to her parentals. Lots of other stuff in between, but ground zero equals: We get job offer out of state. We discuss with counseling. They say could be way to get child out of uncomfortable situation, but don’t tell her. We plan move and tell child minimum info. Child sneaks out of house. Mom knows. Most of the family moves, except Mom and child, but Mom feels something bad is going to go down. Child skips school. Mom has “instinct” moment and calls school. Finds child within 20 minutes. Puts child in car for drive 900 miles away where balance of family is waiting. Child has ‘attitude. Mom gets annoyed after about 700 miles and loses temper and then states, “You will never see that boy again. Ever.”
Fast forward many more years of parental insanity and one more inpatient visit for child. She survives. She graduates. She falls in love. Twice. She attends junior college. She gets a job. She decides to attend a college back in UT where she left 5 years ago, living with her Grama.
Fast, fast forward. Never, ever, say never.
I am the lucky, blessed grandma of two. They belong to the above mentioned child AND the above mentioned boy. They are happily married for three years, with two beautiful children. Who knew.
But, would I change anything? No. It is what it is. Maybe it would not be, if I hadn’t been the parent I was. Who knows? I did the best I am able.