Hi, I Am Dinky Battybrains

I had to steal this from SassyLucy Sloopy DippinDoodle for two reasons. First, I needed a good laugh. Secondly, because Captain Underpants books hold a place near and dear to my heart. They were the first (and for a time only) books I could get my little non-reading Bear to read. Then when I saw my new name, Dinky Battybrains, I fell in love. I may petition to have my name legally changed since it seems to fit so well.

Follow the instructions to find your new name.
And don’t go all adult – a senior manager is now known far & wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer! The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…

1. Use the third letter of your first name to
determine your New first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush’s new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.
And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your day.


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Saturday Strategem


  1. Bobbie Gizzardsprinkles


    Monkey’s is Farkus Frickenbutt

    sounds like a curse phrase.

    Farkus Frickenbutt! I just stubbed my toe.

  2. Not bobbie – boobie

  3. marmagoo

    Doofus Farkletush. I suppose the Doofus is pretty spot on most days.

  4. Excellent love it 🙂

  5. I got Snickle Farkletush. But hey, I am a Farkle and I do have a big tush so it seems fitting. Hmmm, same last name as marmagoo! Wait, that must mean we have close last names! ; D

  6. Hi! I’m Sloopy Farklepants!!

    tee hee

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