A Letter To Heaven

Hey Gramps,

I am not sure why I am writing this, except I want to wish you a Happy Birthday. Since you have been gone for 10 years that probably sounds a bit strange…but I was thinking about you and so here I am, writing you a letter in heaven.

I am not exactly sure how it got to be 10 years that you have been gone. Time passes so swiftly sometimes. It seems like just yesterday that I was summoned to your bedside for the 600th time with their claim would be the last time. If they used pictures in the dictionary, I am sure yours would be the one they put under the word survivor.

You were a lot of things to a lot of people. To me you were my everything. You and Grandma. You were a man of insurmountable love, a thinker, a reader, a listener and one of the best huggers I have ever met in my life. Your hugs could cure a broken heart, heal all wounds, and make anyone feel like they were on top of the world.

So, maybe I do know why I am writing this and probably you do too. Today it is your birthday. Today is also the day that MacD had chosen to have his baby. They gave him a window of time and he chose this day. Because of you. He remembers your hugs and he adores/worships/loves Grandma and wanted to honor you. After you were gone, when MacD turned 18 he had deep and serious discussion with Grandma about legally changing his last name to yours. He wanted you to have little baby boys to carry on your name directly. That is how much he loved and respected you.

So, back to the why am I writing you. The truth is I am thinking of you. Quite a bit lately. I’ve wanted to call you. Chat some and ask you a bunch of questions about something I am doing right now that I know you are an expert in. But I can’t call you. And today should have been Collin’s birthday instead of 8/9.

I know you are there with Collin. I am quite confident that you are taking excellent care of him. But I wanted to ask favor from you for this silly, mortal soul on earth. I want Collin to know how much he is loved, missed, and mourned. Just like you are. I want, no I need, you to give him one of your hugs. Your love-filled,  full-force, manly hugs. Tell him I told you to do it. Because a hug from you embodies all the love I ever felt for my babies and for my grandbabies. And if I could give Collin one gift, it would be the gift of a real hug. A farkle family hug. The kind of hug that makes the worst things in life go away for a moment because of the real, abiding, and deep love that is our family. You were really, really good at those kind of hugs. So give him one from me. And then go celebrate your ‘earth’ birthday, tuck him under your arm, and share with him our love.

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32 Comments

  1. Great, like Ihaven’t cried enough today…here I go again…

    HUGS

  2. Oh, girl. There isn’t anything in the world like a grandfather’s hug. Sounds like you had a good share of them. I’m sorry you don’t have one right now, because it sounds like you need one. I’m sending “virtual hugs” which aren’t as good (and my real hugs wouldn’t be as good as his, anyway.

  3. Beautiful tribute, big virtual hug to you! What a blessing to have known and loved someone like that! My dad had & my husband has some of those same qualities (thinker, reader, listener) – including and specifically the hugs. It’s a priceless gift, indeed.

  4. Sniff, you sure have a beautiful way with words. Hugs.

  5. That is the most heart felt letter I have read in quiet awhile. Your Grandpa would be so proud of the way you felt for him and still do. Bless you Hugs

  6. This may sound strange coming from me, a guy you don’t even know, but you just made me tear up and think of my grandfather who has been gone since I was 8. I love your faith, and your love of family, keep your chin up and know that I believe your message was received.

  7. Ok…it’s almost midnight…and I’m crying.

    Thanks!! 😉

  8. Sad but so beautiful. I am sure your grandfather is looking after that little one. Now I need that box of tissues.

  9. A very touching post.

  10. You have such a way with words. That was beautiful.

  11. V- I’m thinking very loving thoughts. My Dad gave me the best hug ever when I left for a 3 year tour in W. Germany. It was the last time I saw him alive and the only time I remember him with tears in his eyes when I shipped out. It was the best hug ever! Wonderful post of your Gand Father and his special hugs.

    Thanks!

  12. Damn woman you made me cry. I don’t really remember my paternal grandfather, and know it won’t be long before my maternal one passes as he has cancer and he has refused treatment.

  13. What a lovely letter … remembering … celebrating your memories … making me remember the father I lost 33 years ago … way too soon Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
    Hugs and blessings,

  14. Just beautiful and sweet (while I wipe away a few tears). I still write to my mom every once in awhile, and when I lost my baby that didn’t get to be, I knew that somehow my mom was waiting on the other side, and I found some peace in that. Hugs to all of you and then some more hugs again.

  15. What a lovely tribute to your Gramps. What a gift he gave from his heart to yours.

  16. DJ

    I never met either of my grandfathers, they died before I was born. I have always imagined they must have been just like yours. Collin is blessed to be sheltered in your grandfather’s loving arms.

  17. This is a very sweet dedication. I wish I had been this close to my grandfather.

  18. So beautiful… Thank you so much for sharing this part of you with all of us.
    God bless you.

  19. A very touching tribute. What a great way to remember a loved one!

  20. I tagged you for a meme if you want to play along!

  21. My heart goes out to you as you cope with your losses. You wrote such a beautiful and touching tribute and your words were very powerful.

  22. What a sweet, touching post. You wrote that so well that I had tears in my eyes. I’m glad your little one has someone to watch out for him!

  23. Vixen, thanks for sharing this open letter to your grandpa, it is a very beautiful tribute to your grandpa, a very touchy letter.

  24. You’ve got my eyes welling up… and I’m at work, so not such a good thing. Oh wait, nevermind that – I would NEVER blog at work!! 😉

    That was beautiful. :)

  25. This is so special. Your gramps loves you very much. Collin is in strong, loving hands. Blessings to you and your family.

  26. Oh, you’ve got me all teary! *HUGS* I’ll bet he’s taking good care of Collin!

  27. Wow. You are very gifted with words, and you just took me on a walk down my own memory lane. Thank you, and bless you. Have a great day :)

  28. I’ve read this entry quite a few times, and everytime I do, it brings me to tears. I hope Collin and great grandpa are taking good care of each other.

  29. There is nothing wrong with you writing a letter like this to someone you love and who has passed on. I think it is actually good to get it out and express your feelings.

  30. once again, oh dear. pass it on? no. because IT’S NOT MOVING. there’s no story. the actors aren’t real people. they’re just puppets going through whatever those motions are. i can remember a time when british beer (lager, anyway) adivstering was the envy of the world. and one of the principal reasons was this: the ads weren’t about the beer. they were about the fun of beer. they were in the key of beer.ads about beer are boring. f**king lighten up Britain!

  31. nem temos sequer substracto social para termos uma esquerda…Pois, por isso é que o PNR dá jeito ao BE. E antes os skinheads e todos os "incidentes" que metessem algo remotamente racista, que se não fosse, era na mesma… Foi assim que foram chegando às televisões e crescendo. De soundbyte em soundbyte. — JRF

  32. pour votre long commentaire. J’avais ressenti la même gêne que vous à propos des déclarations de Nicolas Sarkozy auxquelles vous faites allusion; vous avez su dire sur ce sujet exactement ce qu’il fallait.

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