Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

So Grandy got me thinking about exploding heads, stupid people and phone messages with her post here. So I thought I would share a few conversations with my ex-landlady.

The day that Collin was born, just as we arrived at the ER, Fishboy called and said the landlady had showed up without warning and wanted to talk to me. I was a bit distracted by what was going on, but took a moment to call her from my cell. She didn’t answer so I left a voicemail telling her I was at the hospital with my DIL who was brought by ambulance to the ER and was having a baby. I told her to call me back on my cell or Mr. Vixen’s cell. Fishboy arrived at the hospital while we were still waiting and said that she told him she was looking for the rent. Since we were just standing there waiting (at that time we didn’t know how badly things were going), I called her again. Once again I got her voice mail. So I left her a message that I had mailed the rent a week ago, but if it didn’t come in the mail today to call me back. I left her the cell numbers again and told her to call the cells because we are at the hospital and my DIL is having an emergency c-section.

The next morning, after I had gone to the hospital to be with the kids, Mr. Vixen was awakened by the cell phone. It was the landlady asking for me.

Mr. Vixen: She is not here, she is at the hospital.
LL: The hospital? Is she sick?
Mr. Vixen (who was standing next to me when I left both voicemails): *?????* Uh, no.
LL: Is everything alright? Is someone sick?

I still think she was playing a game of some kind. At any rate, she told him she was sorry, blah, blah and oh, by the way, the rent had arrived in the mail. Then this week the following exchange happened which really, really makes me think she is playing us. Mr. Vixen called her to tell her we were done at the condo. When he called he got her voice mail. He left this message, “Hi LL. This is Mr. Vixen. We closed on Friday evening and moved over the weekend. Everything is done now and we have cleaned the condo. We left your keys in the drawer, but forgot the pool key, which Vix will mail to you tomorrow. Thanks for your patience.”

Not 10 minutes later, while we were in another room unpacking I heard the phone ringing. I didn’t get to answer it fast enough and it went to voice mail. I called the VM box and heard the following message from the landlady, “Hi Vix, this is LL. I am just calling to see what is going on with the closing? Have you closed yet? You were supposed to be out of the house by the 1st. Please call me and let me know what is going on?”

Then my head exploded.


For MacD and Collin


If a trainstation is where the train stops, what’s a workstation?


  1. I’m laughing the maniacal laugh of recognition. I may organize a non-profit to rid the world of those responsible for causing heads to explode – they must all be destroyed.

  2. WTF is up with pain in the arse landladys lately?

    Mine is still driving me nuts like a deep, deep itch that I just can’t scratch, too. Argh. Look on the bright side, though- no more landladies for you!

    Jaden’s last blog post..My Birthday Weekend Post

  3. Mar

    Well now YOU are the landlady so hopefully things will be better from now on!

  4. OMG! Is she kidding? I bet she is bored and just playing. Maybe she’s mad that you left. Anyhow, I’m glad you’re out of there :o)

  5. I think she must have some kind of mental problems!

    Honey Mommy’s last blog post..Water, Water Everywhere… but NONE Inside the House!

  6. This one is easy. She wants to be friends, but doesn’t know how to be friends. I have the same problem with Nasty Neighbor. Tell her, Sorry, I gots all the friends I can handle right now!

    Hope you’re settling in to the new place.

    Wacky Mommy’s last blog post..The Monday Night Book Review: “Husband-Coached Childbirth,” “What Your Preschooler Needs to Know” and the “Twilight” series

  7. Let’s hope she’s a pathological lier and on some kind of power trip ’cause I sure don’t want to believe there’s someone out there so ignorant!

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