Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home

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This week’s theme/prompt is: HEADS – Anything round

I am very sure that these have probably made the rounds several times before, but I get such a laugh out of them I just had to send them round again!

Why do we love children? (number six is my personal favorite). Also don’t forget to go see the new Christmas apron over at ApronFrenzy and some new pictures/new layout at Vixen’s Pixels.

  1. I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, “Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!”
  2. On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his  mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”
  3. A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
  4. A little boy got lost at  the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”
  5. While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?” “Yes”, I answered and continued writing the report. “My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?” “Yes, that’s right,” I told her. “Well then”, she said as she extended her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”
  6. It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”
  7. While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, “The tooth fairy will never believe this!”
  8. A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.” “And why not, darling?” “You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.”
  9. While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole hegoooes.”
  10. A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!”
  11. A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it.  What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found,” the boy called out. “‘What have you got there, dear?” With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”

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18 Comments

  1. Cute! Love the holiday template, too!

    Anna’s last blog post..I’ve Been Featured!

  2. Kids say the funniest things! My favorites were 5 and 6. 🙂

    Skittles’s last blog post..Heads Or Tails #69 – Anything Round

  3. LOL!!!!! Check mine out … also, did you see my Christmas elves? 😉

    Lisa – Life is Like a Box of Legos’s last blog post..Run … Eat … Sleep

  4. That was so funny! I just sent it to a bunch of people 🙂

    Jaden’s last blog post..Thanksgiving Means…

  5. OMG I love number 2 sooo much!

    Lesley’s last blog post..Week 2 Day 2: Couch to 5K Complete!

  6. I think the last one was my favorite – but they’re all cute! 🙂

  7. Excellent! Each one funnier than the last…

  8. Definitely needed the laughs 🙂

  9. Thanks so much for the entertaining bits. I needed the laughs.
    Hugs and blessings,

    happily retired gal’s last blog post..Monday Morning Musings and More …

  10. Thanks. These were all so funny!

    Suzanne’s last blog post..Think Good Thoughts

  11. Lee

    Now this one left me smiling! Two of my favorite people to watch on TV were Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby when they were interacting with kids. Wouldn’t it be nice to retain that innocent approach to what we see going on around us?

    Lee’s last blog post..A List for St. Nick

  12. I love the things that pop out of kids’ mouths. So funny and innocent.

  13. JihadGene

    Loved #6 Looong time!!!

  14. What fun. My favorite is #10. I wonder how many kids feel that way? I think my granddaughter did. She had excells in everything except keeping quiet. But really I think she excelled at that also. My daughter seems to think she takes after me. Personally I think that’s a good thing.

  15. Oh these are pretty funny. Hey!! I like the new look around here, lady!!! 🙂

  16. That was a lot of fun. No. 6 cracked me up, too!

  17. …who says i will let them come back…….

    elijahssong’s last blog post..The Family Grinch….

  18. LOL! Thanks for the cute stories!

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