I began this post (in my head) in the middle of the night last night, categorizing all the things I have endured over the past few years as testimate as to why am still amazed as to how things seem to be progressing in my life right now. But I don’t want to revisit them right now. I am just not in the mood.
There is an apparently huge, uncommon storm headed my way. I hesitate to use the “storm of the century” jargon, since the weatherman this morning claimed it may be more rare than anything ever recorded, so it’s the “storm of the ever recorded”? Possibilities of snow down to very low levels, which is probably nothing for the rest of the world, but here in Sun Diego a rare and momentous occasion. I am excited at the idea of such a huge change, but confident it will not last. This is southern California after all.
My entire life feels like that now. Excited anticipation about what is around the next corner. The possibility of ‘different’ times not a threat but, like the weather, a welcome albeit temporary change.
Sharing is hard with words. I wish I could detail how fantastic my life is as a direct result of the presence of the internet in my life. To be able to quantify the depth of my feelings when I am with my grandchildren. To characterize the joy a stray cat has added to my days. To somehow elucidate the physical and emotional experience for me when I am riding.
It doesn’t work. There are always some people who just don’t get it. My parents will never understand my relationship with animals, they just aren’t animal people. I imagine it must be like when a runner tries to explain to me the feeling of a “runner’s high”…I am never, never going to understand that. I can’t get past the shin splints when I jog one block. People are suspicious of each other these days. No one will ever understand the relationships I have developed over the internet. And most are highly suspicious of favors, gifts, etc. from people who I have never met in person. I imagine trying to explain this is as hard as describing the glory of a rainbow to a person who has never seen sunshine.
It doesn’t matter. I am experiencing the feelings I can’t put in to words. I am living the moment that escapes descriptions.
Tomorrow is Friday. Saturday, my horse arrives. To say I am excited for that day to be here would be an understatement. I just hope that pictures will capture a hint of the moment…
Bring on the storm. I am waiting.