It’s Me Not You

It was my inability to let go. My need to prove something. I don’t know what. That I was worthy? That I was lovable? That I was innocent? That I didn’t ask for it? That it wasn’t my fault? That I was a child?

It was my own self doubt and self inflected loathing that made me continue to seek you out. It was me, not you, seeking answers to questions I didn’t know I had. It was my need to convince myself that you didn’t make the decisions you made.

No matter how ugly it got, I still stayed. I could plainly see how dysfunctional it was, yet I stayed. Until I had given everything I had to give. Until there was nothing left for me to offer. No part of me undamaged, unscathed, uncut.

It was me, not you, who had to let go. Let go completely. With all my heart and soul. Released from myself.

I have never been more comfortable in my own skin. More at peace with my soul. More accepting of my hearts wishes and desires. More in touch with my family.

It was me, not you.

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10 Comments

  1. Mar

    I love you.

    Letting go, the Bain of my existence.

    Again, I love you.

  2. (((hugs))) I hope that no matter what is going on, you are happy.

  3. xoxoxoxox to infinity and beyond. me
    Wacky Mommy recently posted..9.11

  4. I understand. One of the advantages of old age is being able to look back from a vast distance and see how far the journey has been. Living your life, chasing those dreams and following your heart as well as some good old horse kisses makes everything right.
    Mountain Woman recently posted..Featuring Della Messina Etsty Boutique With A Giveaway

  5. Do what is best and healthy for you. You are worth it, whatever it is.
    Karen recently posted..Ways To Save

  6. I cannot tell a lie, that really heepld.

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