Always Remembering
Today is October 15th,Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Light a candle at 7pm, tonight and join us all in remembrance of those gone too soon.
Stop by Band Back Together’s Wall Of Remembrance and show some love and support for those who have lost.
The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.
My mind is an emotional explosion today. I just spent the most amazing three days at Blogher’11; experiencing the most vast array of emotions and experiences you could pack into such a short time. I have so much to share. Some truly amazing experiences I will share with you over the next while, including dinner last evening with two amazing women (whom I had never met before), that was probably the best experience of the entire convention.
Not surprisingly, I was particularly moved by certain aspects during the week, that had to do with grief, loss and the heartfelt support some of us have received from this amazing community. The reason it is not so surprising, is that tomorrow is three years since Watermelon came into our lives and just as suddenly left; leaving us lost, bereft and heartbroken. Today we are having our annual memorial and balloon release and during the conference that was always in my mind, no matter how 
distracted I was.
There is a lot to process, so much new insight and new questions about this process of love and loss. I just want to thank everyone who has (and still are) helping me on this journey. Three years is a long time. Three years is a short time. An eternity and yesterday. Fresh and old. Who knows how long this takes? Five years? Never? Tomorrow? I don’t know. but I do know that I couldn’t have come this far in the journey without your love, support and understanding. We are an amazing tribe, aren’t we?
I am going to send another message to heaven today, tied to a balloon, and watch it drift above until it disappears from my site. I am not just writing to Collin though, this year I want to reach out to others up there, remember them and the amazing women who’s lives they touched: Maddie, Boo, Christine and many others. If I met you this weekend, shook your hand, or hugged you….just know that today I am again thinking of you and that touch/hug. Bless you all.
I Think I’ll Be A Clown When I Get Growd Up
Tonight is opening night of Fully Charged presented by Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey in San Diego. Excitement is high here at The Den, as Mr. Vixen and I are taking three of the grandkids tonight for their first BIG CIRCUS ADVENTURE.
For me there is nothing better than a really, really amped up and excited grandkid (because I get to send them home later, tee hee), so we started the day early this morning with a special behind the scenes visit to the circus grounds. We were able to see all the horses, tigers, and the elephants; up close and personal. We even saw an elephant get its bath! Did you know they have special wash made just for elephants? They do and its called Safari Shampoo!
If you are in the San Diego area, run out and get some tickets to the circus! I learned this morning that the animal area is open to all ticket holders 90 minutes before each show! You can see all the animals up close before the show and meet their trainers.
Here are some pics of our visit this morning. I hope I see you tonight at the circus. If you don’t have tickets yet, the circus is here all the way through Sunday, the 17th with two shows a day on Friday and Sunday, and three shows on Saturday! Click here for schedule and ticket information.
They are dead; but they live in each Patriot’s breast, And their names are engraven on honor’s bright crest
Memorial Day (or weekend as it has become for most) is a day to remember the brave men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for their 
country. I heard that nearly 85% of Americans don’t even know what Memorial Day signifies. I find it quite sad that so many think of this national holiday as only picnics and barbeques. I will have a family get-together also, but it will be a day of remembrance for those who served and died.
That picture is Uncle Charlie, my Pop’s uncle. He was born in Oklahoma on September 20, 1922. At the tender age of 23, this beloved husband and young father of one, was serving as Fireman, First Class. On April 12, 1945,
EDITED: If any of you follow me on Facebook or twitter, you may recall my frustration with my paid ancestry search results the day before this post. That is because Pop couldn’t recall the ship Uncle Charlie was on or any other details. In trying to honor him, I did the best I could with the limited information I had. It turned out he was not aboard the U.S.S. Abele Mannert. Luckily, his daughter found her way here and shared the true story of his last day and the future of his ship:
Hi Vixen, your father forwarded your blog to me. I am the daughter of Charles Evans Hughes. I really appreciate the tribute that you paid to my father. There are some discrepancy in your tribute. The destroyer, DD777, was the USS Zellars, not the Adele. Four (Jills), Kamikaze’s attacked the ship. Two turned to the forward part of ship the other two toward the aft. Two planes were shot down, the third found it’s target. It carried a torpedo and a fifty pound bomb. Torpedo broke loose and exploded, the bomb did not detonate. Forty-four enlisted and officers died, forty-five injured out of a crew of one hundred twenty-five. The Zellars continued to battle the Kamikaze’s and shot down a third plane.The ship returned to port with extensive damage. After temporary patching, it returned to the States for the major repairs. Returned to service after WWII. The ship was sold to the Shah of Iran. It was still in service as of eight years ago. Now known as the Babar.
Your 2nd cousin
Karen
The rest I wrote below is still true. I have actually been to the Memorial in Hawaii and I have a picture somewhere of his name on the memorial, which I why I tried to find out the details to share. Please excuse my previous erroneous information.
44 of the crew were lost with the ship and remain on duty. That includes my great uncle: Charles Evan Hughes. He received the Purple Heart and is memorialized in Honolulu at the WWII Memorial.
Please take a moment during your celebration today, Memorial Day, to remember the lives of all the men and women who gave their lives for our country and freedom.
They was a-splishin’ and a-splashin’
Guess where I was yesterday? On a Friday? In May?
That doesn’t look anything like my work, does it? You caught me. I wasn’t at work, I was at the LEGOLAND waterpark for the new opening of their toddler SplashZoo area! Not by myself either. I thought it only fitting I bring the cutest kids I know: RolyPoly, Ladybug and WhatAboutMe!
All three of those kids adore being in the water. Our previous trips with the older two to a waterpark has been difficult because they believe A) they can swim alone in deep water B) they can do anything an adult can do. It was overwhelming to keep them happy and safe.
I adore, adore, adore the New Duplo Splash Safari with every bit of my grandmotherly being. Shallow, warm pools, kid-sized water slides, soft squishy pool bottom and a great big sprinkler area of giant zoo animals: everything in the place is made for kids to love and enjoy. And our three were no exception!
(see below for scientific/photographic proof of their enjoyment).
If you live in the area, are visiting Southern California or are planning a trip here this summer (any of you BlogHer 2011 attendees bringing your families?!?!) I suggest you take a day (or two) to visit the LEGOLAND Water Park (and of course LEGOLAND too!). The cabanas are terrific and give the family a central place to meet while your bigger kids head over to the regular sized slides and your toddlers and younger kids enjoy the fun (and easier for them to navigate) Splash Zoo!
Thanks to LEGOLAND CA for the opportunity to attend the grand opening and to the SDMomfia for helping to arrange the day for us bloggers. I was given four admission tickers to LEGOLAND, but all opinions, sunburns and fun are mine.
March Into April
Prompt 163: Reciprocate
Time scampering past Days full of new adventures Life adjusting, changing, a constant metamorphosis My shell crumbling, giving and taking,Emerging quickly into the light,
My heart and soul given freely I now redeem my reward A fair trading of struggle bartered and in return
A collection of memories inherited Reaping what I’ve sown Seeking peace, obtaining balance Give me a moment, I’ll give you a lifetime
Or perhaps, I just ride off into the sunset
A moment in my tummy… a lifetime in my heart
There are people out there who will find me absurd when I proclaim what I am about to. There are some who will think I am spoiled and ungrateful; crazy, insane, or brainless. Some may be hurt aggrieved due to their own struggles and believe I am not grateful, although I know I am. Those who have never experienced it (and are happiy that way), may find me laughable.
I can’t change my desires. My yearning. My hankering. The daily/nightly burning craving.
To have a baby.
Not ’just’ to have a child. Although that is the real desire. But I also covet the pregnancy days. The feeling of growth within my body. The nurturing of innocent life. The muscle cramps, The weight gain. The lumbering walk. The quickening. The kicks and rolls.
But yes, end run game, I want to have another baby of my own. Another child. A thought that had been gone for years. A possibility that has been gone for years. Yet the vision reappears and persists.
Why this overwhelming need? I have grandchildren for heaven’s sake! Yet, adorable and wonderful as they are? They are not mine alone. Completely and dependently mine. The first face they see in the morning and the last at night. All mistakes and accomplishments, of me and by me.
Readers my age, is this normal? Am I doomed to a life of wishing and wanting another baby of my own? Or is this some kind of midlife crisis breeder style? Men get cars and moms yearn for babies in their wombs? More importantly…how do I make it go away? Obviously, holding other’s babies (even my own grandbabies) isn’t going to work: I want one of my own!!!! And knowing it is a physical impossibility is having not one tiny bit of effect on my infatuation with wanting to be pregnant!
Don’t get me wrong…I am not sad about it. I dealt with that years ago. This just seems to be some kind of overwhelming want to gestate and give birth and raise a baby. I’ve lost it. Obviously.
Hormones? Insanity? I bet if someone would loan me a baby for a month I would get over it. Volunteers?
Elephants and grandchildren never forget
See others: SOOC Sunday AND Unconscious Mutterings
I have two SOOC (straight out of the camera) shots for this week. The girls had their first ever horse riding turns last Sunday on Calypso. They both really, really loved it. Ladybug would have liked to “go faster”, but What-about-me? was quite content to go “slowly”. Scroll down for unconscious mutterings.
Below, Ladybug is explaining to me the hard “leg tricks” she is performing. She had never been a horse before, yet had created her own ‘tricks’ and was performing them brilliantly.
Our prompts from LunaNina this week:
- Judge :: not, lest ye be judged
- Safe :: zone
- Boulevard :: tattoo
- 27 :: Nannygoat?!
- Next :: time I will be a little better
- Ma’am :: Yes, Sir.
- Desktop :: publishing
- Club :: what I will take to Mr. Vixen’s head if he ever accidentally shoots me in the leg with an air soft gun again.
- Violet :: flower
- Enamel :: teapot
Find the Vixen
Spread The Frenzy
Barked Back