Category: Farkle-isms (Page 1 of 3)


We are out and about in the big scary world. We drove up half the length of California in the heat with no AC, two toddlers and a trailer full over motorcycles. It is a melancholy trip, slightly dampened by the goings on with Funsize and MacD.

We left home at the unseemly hour of 3:46am. The next 11.5 hours (yes, what should have been 7 hours 47 mins took us 11.5 hours) were spent mostly doing stuff like this:

IMG_2992 IMG_2996 IMG_2997 IMG_2998

It was long and it was hot and we had to stop a million and one times. (Note to self: buy a motorhome with a toilet in it).

We got to my dad’s and just laid around trying to get over the trauma.

Yesterday, we went down to visit the lovely, wonderful, sweet and extremely loveable Julia. The kids saw the horses, the chickens and played on the toys. And I got to meet a wonderful friend in the flesh. I also met the infamous rooster, Mr. D; but he didn’t attack me, so I was a bit disappointed.

IMG_3010 IMG_3011 Today the some of the kids are heading up to the city by the bay to visit the Wharf and Alcatraz. One of the parentals of my grandchildren (Lloyd) is spending some quality time in the dentist’s chair (it wouldn’t be my family vacation if someone didn’t need some kind of emergency care, right?). Mr. Vixen and I are going to spend the day with Ladybug and Butterball right here in/around this:


My dad has the sweetest pool, hot tub and waterfall combo in the world. So life is good today.

Tomorrow we’ll all head on up to Great Grama’s cabin. She has internet, so I may update you all some!

Hope you are enjoying your holiday weekend. Many, many thanks to those of you who purchased aprons. This trip would not have been possible without your support. God bless you.

Pre-Holiday Weekend Bullets

  • I did not, in fact, quit blogging. But I have some serious writer’s block. Or its just depression. Staying home with nothing much to do sucks the life out of me.
  • I have had some bad car mojo and it seems to be contagious. I had the van fixed (it was the timing belt and it was over $600). The day after I picked it up, Bear’s car stopped working. Hers is the fuel pump. It will cost over $600 to fix, so that will have to wait. Then yesterday Nannygoat and the grandbabies were rear ended at a stop light and their car was pretty much crushed between and SUV and another vehicle. EVERYONE IS OKAY. So that is good. But Nanny only has the one car too (for her hubs to get to work and her to take Ladybug to PT and OT) and I think the car is a bit beyond repairing. She had liability only insurance so we have to hope the lady who plowed into her has good, fast insurance.
  • The boys men left yesterday for a MANONLY camping weekend. First time they have done this. I am not sure I trust Mr. Vixen, MacDougal, Lloyd and Sparkles alone together in a forest with fire and beer, but I suppose all I can do is cross my fingers.
  • All us girls are going to get together tonight to hang out GIRLSONLY style. But since we are old, married, poor folk with two small kids in tow, I imagine it won’t be nearly as exciting (or dangerous) as MANONLY camping.
  • A giant green worm thing attacked one of mah baybeeee tomato plants! Ate the entire thing in one day before I noticed. Needless to say, there are no more bugs of any kind in my yard now.
  • The rest of the garden is looking pretty good, so I will get some pictures this weekend to share.
  • Ladybug spent the night with Grama and Papa last weekend, so there will probably be pictures of that too.
  • I am working on some aprons too. Gotta get ’em done and posted.
  • Hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, and enjoyable Memorial weekend.

Smiling Snippets

The weekend has ended and it’s back to work for me. Mr. Vixen is over hanging out with Funsize, as MacDougal had to return to work today.

Moments just keep happening and we just take them as they wash over us, sometimes able to laugh along the way:


Mr. Vixen informs me he had a dream about Collin. Something about building a mantle-like shelf and other stuff, when he says “And the mantel looked so great with all of his rosemarys hanging from it.”  Me: “His what?” Mr. Vixen: “You know, his rosemarys.” Me: “Collin had herbs hanging from his mantle?!” Mr. Vixen: “No. The rosmarys, the one you gave him, the one you gave MacD, the ones he was baptised with. Those ones.” Me: “You mean rosaries?” Mr. Vixen: “Yeah, that’s what I said. His rosmarys.”


I gave our Basset Hound a bath and took her out front to brush her. Of course, my little neighbor D (now six!) comes over to rub her belly as usual. Also as usual, she has many questions. D: “So, when Gwennie was a little baby dog, was she a Chihuahua or a puppy?”


At mass on Sunday (Nannygoat was very, very concerned about how the sweet, but excitable Ladybug would behave at her first time to mass) Ladybug is so quiet and thoughtful and generally surprised everyone (except me!) with her good behavior. At one point she scooted down the aisle to sit with me and I whispered to her, “You are being such a good little girl. So quiet and well-behaved. I am sooo proud of you. I love you so much.” To which Ladybug whispers back, “Yea… Grama do you have any apple juice?”


I am hoping that tomorrow I can post some awards I received (some recently and some long, long, long ago).

Until then…

Happy Monday, all.

Tails Of Ted


Tails: Every Tom, Dick or Harry (Click here for more participants)

Funny story for this weeks prompt. When Nannygoat was 16 or 17 she and her brother were always teasing their Dad (Mr. Vixen) about being addicted to his computer game. It went on for some time and whenever he was teasing them or harassing them it became a way for them to call him a name without using language that I didn’t allow. They would say “You’re addicted” with the accents so that it actually sounded like ‘you’re a dick Ted’. This went on to become their favorite way of insulting each other.

So one night we were visiting at Great’s cabin. We got into a hotly contested game of Balderdash. My uncle Tom is a serious balderdash player and is merciless with his sarcasm and Nanny and MacD are not exempt. At one intense moment Nanny wanted to stop playing and her Uncle Tom wanted to play another game. He was haranguing her to play again when she said, “You’re a dick Tom.” Silence descended immediately and we all just stared at her for a moment. Her face turned red as she realized what she said and she started yelling, “I meant your ad-dic-ted!!!” We all just started laughing.

A Bag of Baguettes To Go, Please

The following conversation occurred Sunday morning. Obviously a little too early Sunday morning. Also obvious is that fact that Funsize fits right into the Farkle family.

MacD (on the phone to his Dad): We picked up all the stuff for the BBQ, but I forgot briquets. Do you have any briquets? (Mr. Vixen tells him we have plenty and they hang up).

Funsize: What about butter? Do your parents have butter?

MacD: I am sure my parents have butter. Ummmm, what do we need butter for?

Funsize: Well, I eat mine with butter.

MacD: Eat what with butter?

Funsize: Briquets.

MacD: Briquets?!?!

Funsize: Yea, I like them with butter on top.

MacD: Briquets?!?!?!

Funsize: Why? What do you eat yours with?

MacD: I don’t eat briquets! And as long as you are carrying my child, I don’t think you should either!

A Little Monday Farkle-ism Fun

The other night while Mr. Vixen and I were enjoying Jericho, Bear (who does not care for the show, but does think Skeet is sexyhawt) asked what time it was. I told her it was “quarter of ten.” To which she replies, “Ugh, so we have another 25 minutes of this show!” I said no, just 15 minutes. Then she says, “But a quarter is 25!”

I explained (whilst trying to control my giggles) that there are 100 cents in a dollar, so yes a quarter of a dollar is 25. However, there are only 60 minutes in an hour, so quarter of an hour is only 15 minutes. (Yes, she is a A-B grade junior in high school!).

Her response: “Sure, whatever.

Now why don’t all you sweet wonderful people run on over to Frigga’s and VOTE for me???? Mkaythanskverymuch

Very Positive Things About Moving

Moving is not fun. Well, possibly if you won the lottery and paid someone to move all your stuff and put it exactly where you want by reading your mind and all you had to do was drive over there and walk into a new mansion. Then it might be a little bit fun. I will say though that there are many positives resulting from our little move this past week.

  • I know I have mentioned them before, but they are worthy of mention yet again. I have not one, but two working toilets within my actual domicile. Not at the neighbors or in a freezing cold barn. And flushing them has not once caused raw sewage to spew into the yard a few feet from Bear’s door. I call that an extra added bonus.
  • I am so much closer to work I shaved nearly 30 minutes off my commute. With the average price of gas last week at high of $3.67 a gallon I have already saved $40 dollars in gas this week and I only went to work three days.
  • There is heat within my abode. Hard to think how I managed without it. Truly amazing stuff. I have never had radiant heat (in the ceiling) and it is warm without vents and drafts and not so dry. At the old place when we arose in the morning it was usually about 56 degrees and we would have to turn on the gas stove to warm it up enough to shower, because our little electric heater just couldn’t handle it.
  • Speaking of showers….this one is not a 3’6″ square. It actually has a tub. I can move around during a shower or soak in a tub.
  • On the weekend when Nanny and company came to visit, we were able to sit on couches (Thanks to a lovely gift from MacDougal of his old ones) and visit. We could only fit two chairs into the old place. We were also able to sit at the table and eat dinner.
  • This place is actually magical. One night I put our dirty dishes into this box under the cabinet and while I was sleeping pixies came and washed my dishes!
  • The washer and dryer are in the laundry (hall) closet. That means no going out through the rain and cold to wash and then hauling the laundry over to the barn to dry it.
  • A bonus laundry issue is there is hot water going to the washing machine. Do you know how much cleaner your clothes get when you can wash them in warm water?
  • You can walk down the hallway without having to turn sideways. In fact, two people can actually pass in the hallway.
  • Here I am allowed to actually hang things up. Our new place is now decorated and we were allowed to hang the toilet paper holder and towel racks too.

I could go on and on with things about not having gravel tracked inside, free water, wall to wall carpet, and electricity that works, but I will let you all go now. What was that? You say everyone has these things? Well, pshaw, who knew.

I do not have internet yet (should be done tomorrow!) and I have to walk down the road to find an unsecured network. I hope to be back full force soon and I will share an excellent story about Ladybug and some cute pictures of Butterball eating solid food! I may even be able to look up the Heads Or Tails for Tuesday and participate.

A Quickie

(NO, not that kind)

We are mostly moved. Some stuff still in the barn and I am just trying to live with the fear that they seize it or something (I always think the worst now… this is a complete and awful change for me).

New place: AWESOME. Two toilets that work. Room to move around. Washer and dryer inside the house so no frogs and leafs in my wash! The neighbors seem nice and filled me in on some slightly frightening information about the ‘hood. Will fill you in on that later. Ended up having to take Monday and Tuesday off work, so I am swamped.

Power cord arrived. However, the internet provider did not. Hopefully I can find some unsecured wifi to steal borrow and start posting some more!

MISS YOU ALL. WILL BE BACK, I promise. And then you will wish I stayed away, bwahahaha

PS: If you are here from Shutter Sisters (thank you, Mrs. Eaves) here is the link to my pictures. I am a beginner who likes to learn, so leave some comments, ideas and thoughts!


So those pictures I promised you of the eclipse? I did promise, didn’t I? At any rate, you have to go here to see the awesomeness for several reasons. You see her tripod is 2 times better than mine, her camera is three times better than mine, her talent is four times better than mine and her vision is five times better than mine (but, hey, she’ll get old someday too). I did, however, manage to capture 27 amazingly pure black photos of nothing but pure blackness before my batteries died. Quite good too, if you ask me. So go visit Nannygoat’s awesome recap of our eclipse evening.

The other day at Skittle’s Place I finally found out how to do those little lines in a post (above/below). Cool.

This morning I noticed I sent out an invoice to a customer in Slovenia with their company name wrong. The company is Geoservis and I sent it out Geocervix. I hope that translates better in Slovenian.

I need a place to live. It must accept dogs. It must be quick, before I lose my mind.

Everything I just said above is irrelevant. Until Mr. Vixen’s SSDI comes through I can’t do shit but wait and try to keep my kids and husband from hurting anyone. Most especially me.

I just had to add shit to my spell checker. Perfect.

Never Have An Online Conversation With A One Handed Woman

My mom is sick. She developed CRPS earlier this week and was diagnosed with PPH a few months ago. She was doing ok with regards to the PPH until this week during the painful experience of CRPS and her oxygen sats went way down on Wednesday. The doctors put her on 24 hour continuous oxygen. I have been talking to her in the evenings and this morning I noticed she was on AIM (screen names changed to protect the innocent). This is how the conversation went (no worries she is okay and laughing at me as I type this):

vixen (10:10:04 AM): So how are you feeling this morning?

mom (10:12:26 AM): not great

vixen (10:12:38 AM): What’s up? Hand or breathing?

vixen (10:12:43 AM): Or everything?

mom (10:13:17 AM): yeah and a little nausous

vixen (10:13:32 AM): ugh

mom (10:14:16 AM): took a pill maybe it will help

vixen (10:14:32 AM): is it the meds that make you nauseous?

mom (10:14:52 AM): no onr nauseo

vixen (10:15:14 AM): huh?

mom (10:15:23 AM): one for

vixen (10:15:56 AM): but why are you nauseated? is it the pain meds or the fact that you are upset or that you can’t breath?

mom (10:16:55 AM): u bett call

mom (10:17:04 AM): er

vixen (10:17:22 AM): you want me to call the ER?

mom (10:17:34 AM): no me

vixen (10:17:53 AM): is dad there?

mom (10:17:59 AM): no

vixen (10:18:11 AM): I will call you an ambulance

mom (10:18:42 AM): no cant type call me

vixen (10:18:49 AM): oh ok, I see now, you want me to call you

mom (10:19:04 AM): duh

Seriously, I thought she wanted me to call the ER. It did strike me a little odd that she wanted me to call since I am 890 miles away and don’t know the number. Then when I got her on the phone she was laughing so hard and then she yells at me because I should know she can’t type well with only one hand.

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