Category: Fishboy

Too Overwhelmed to Write

So a lot of things have changed around here since I have been regularly posting. So much, that I eventually gave up posting. I was/am overwhelmed. I want to share everything but there is so much I can’t get myself to do it. It seems impossible. So I will use bullets to share highlights of what I can remember. And then, if anyone still reads here, you can all PIPE UP in the comments and tell me which teaser you would like more information on first and that will be my next post! Sounds fun. (probably won’t work because no one reads anymore, but perhaps all this will be out-of-the-way and I will be free to begin blogging again? One can hope?)

  • RolyPoly is getting a baby sister! MacD and Funsize are having a scheduled c-section on Aug 30th. The baby needs a super-secret-internet name. You all should get on that right NOW.
  • Bear and Fishboy became engaged just before Christmas.
  • We got a second horse at Christmas. Miss Bonnie Blue (reg. Pushin Little Princess) is a curious, intelligent, trouble making sweetheart TN Walking Horse. She and Calypso adore each other. It was a gift from me to Mr. Vixen so we could start riding together.
  • Mr. Vixen got a new knee!
  • In February, at the beginning of my first ever trail ride a motorcycle came up on a side road and scared Calypso. He spun and took off, along with the two horses that were being ponied by my friends. I did not make the spin. I instead launched off, rolled down an embankment and landed under a pasture fence. I broke 7 bones throughout my body, needed surgical repair (pins) placed in my finger, bruised everything and also tore some menisc-ally stuff that still is going to need surgery to repair. Was not fun.
  • Because of that I haven’t ridden much and am just getting my confidence back.
  • Baby Banana (Nannygoat’s youngest) is going to turn one next month and she has THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES of any child on the planet. I have pictures to prove it. She also needs a better S-S-I name, which you all can pick too.
  • In May, Fishboy decided he did not want to be a part of the den anymore. At all. This caused significant heartache for Bear and for us to have to move on very short notice.
  • However, sometimes good things come out of bad experiences. In June, we relocated the Den to “Pterodactyl Ranch”. Our house is twice as big as before, has central air and (most importantly) is a horse property.
  • The horses now live in my back yard. This has reduced our TV time to zero and computer time to 1/16th of what it was before. We are real country-folk now. Living in the country is 100 times less stressful than I dreamed.
  • Being in the country and working on 2-acres of yard that had gone to waste is a good way to start losing weight. Mr. Vixen has lost 15 pounds already and I have lost 9. I am still more overweight than I have ever been in my entire life (even pregnant) and need to find ways to make that happen.
  • I made some super cute things for the new baby girl’s baby shower, very original, keepsake value and uber-inexpensive. I should put up how-to and pictures, right?

I know there are many, many more things I have left out. But if I don’t post this now….it will just sit here for another year and even more stuff will happen.

Know that I am still here and still reading all your blogs, even though I may not comment! Leave me a comment and help me change that!

Time Consumption

Getting Back To The Great Outdoors

Growing up, my parents took me camping all the time. Nearly every special memory I have from my youth was at a campground or the cabin (which was camping, but with a bed!). The first 14 years of my married life were spent in Utah where camping is plentiful and my kids were indoctrinated at a very early age. After moving here in 1998, we camped a lot less. Life got busier and then the kids became teens and next thing I knew, they were all grown up and trying to live their own lives. But I miss camping a lot and I felt sad that Ladybug and Butterball weren’t growing up with the camping experience. So, for Nannygoat’s birthday I bought her and her family a giant tent! Then on Mother’s Day I bought her a camp stove. To top it all off, I made reservations for two sites at a local campground for this past weekend. Super close to home in case we needed to go back and just for one night–sort of a practice run.

Of course our newest addition to the family, RolyPoly, wasn’t about to be left out. So MacDougal, Funsize and the new babe pitched their tent too! Sparkles brought Floozy on her first camping trip with us and Lightening Boy came too. My cousin brought her two girls for the day so she (an they) could finally meet RolyPoly and her kids could play with Ladybug and Butterball. Although Bear and Fishboy couldn’t stay with us due to work on Sunday, they still came up Saturday evening for s’mores and a a visit.

My fun loving grand-girls had the time of their lives! Dirt, dirt and more dirt is the newest and most fun toy they’ve ever played with! The adults had a very nice time also. RolyPoly has been having some issues sleeping at night since he was born. Apparently the camping gene runs very strong in him, as his night at the campground was the best night he’s slept since he was born! All in all, it was a great time. Check out the pictures here on my flickr, the one here of RolyPoly is one of my faves!

I have so much going on I need to get around to sharing with you. Working on a big, special, fancy, blog redesign! And maybe then I will be inspired and blog some more (ha ha ha).  Registered for college….I have no idea what I am doing, but apparently I need to decide soon. Ladybug had her IEP for KINDERGARDEN!?!?! (not sure how that is possible, since she was just born right?). More to share about the babes, life in general, and stuff (like this new laptop I am typing on right now).

Health-wise, I am doing great. The meds kicked right in and I am right back on track. Now I just need to get back on track here. Thanks to all of you for hanging around during my ‘distracted by new baby’ time. I won’t say it’s over yet, but I hope for the blog’s sake I can get some writing done!

A Tale Of Two

When Chelsea King went missing, we (as I am sure all area residents did) felt dismay and concern. Bear and I (as well as MacD, Nannygoat and Mr. Vixen) were hit especially close to home. That is our field. That is our place. Yes it’s a community field, but it was our community field. My children grew up there. Learned to fly kites there, played softball there, hiked the trails with our dogs there, Gram and Gramps took Ladybug to the park there every Saturday morning for years, we celebrated birthday parties there. My first time trying roller blades was there, as was my first big fall off roller blades. The boys had epic paint ball competitions there. Lloyd proposed marriage to Nannygoat on the trails near the waterfall. This was a place of many years of joy and activities for us.

Between Bear and I, Bear was absolutely convinced Chelsea had fallen on the trails and was hurt. We know the trails and it can be rough terrain in areas. Falling into a culvert, being unable to get out seemed like the obvious and only scenario to Bear. Being young, healthy, full of faith and innocence; she was so sure. I was hopeful this was the case, but not certain. A sick feeling in my stomach, mother’s intuition maybe, or just a sense of foreboding.

When they called for volunteers on Saturday morning, despite the pouring rain, Bear and I suited up in our best hiking gear, purchased two rain ponchos and headed off. By this time, my brain was entertaining the thought that she hadn’t fallen. That she wasn’t lying somewhere hurt and waiting to be found. Bear’s faith, however, remained untouched by the length of time and the fact that 100s of deputies had been searching for days and not found her. As we fought the traffic jam near the search HQ for nearly an hour, we noticed volunteers beginning to walk away from the area instead of towards the check in point. We asked several of them what was going on. It turned out too many people had shown up for the search. All volunteers were being turned away for now. We were asked to come back the next day.

Then someone was arrested in connection to her disappearance. Details were sketchy, but for certain they had found an article of her clothing and DNA linking to convicted sex offender. My heart sank, as reality set in. Bear would not give up hope that Chelsea was out there somewhere still. Possibly hurt by this man, but fighting on and just waiting to be found. She had to work the next two days, so we were unable to join the search. But during those two days, our lives were rocked by more revelations.

That Saturday night, they released some details about the man being held in connection with the case. His picture was all over the TV. As was the address at which he was living. This wasn’t just our park, this was our neighborhood. That home was just two blocks from our home of ten years. Fishboy’s mother lives a scant few houses away, as does his aunt’s family. Nannygoat walked past there on a daily basis during the years surrounding his first conviction and she was 14 years old at the time; the same age as his victims. Less than a block from Bear’s elementary school, where she walked to and from 2nd-6th grade. On Sunday morning, Sparkles came by to help with a shed Mr. Vixen is building. He also had news. Apparently when his pregnant girlfriend had watched the news the night before, she had recognized the man being held. Her sister called her and confirmed it. She allowed me to read some of her court papers. You see, she was one of the girls who testified at his preliminary hearing 10 years ago. She was one of his victims. Thank God, not one of the victims who were so badly beaten that resulted in the crimes he was actually charged with. She was one of the “lucky” victims, if there is such a thing, who got away. Still, she was wounded emotionally and the fear of testifying during that time still haunts her to this day. So haunted, that she had never shared with anyone but her family. You see, we know her because she lived in our neighborhood. These are our kids who were hurt. It could have been my daughter, they are nearly the same age. Sadly, during those two days, one last revelation was revealed: that the suspect had lived not far from the high school where Amber Dubois had disappeared during the time she went missing nearly 13 months ago. I felt this was too much coincidence. We had just moved into this city when Amber had gone missing and I had tried to join in that search also.

The day of our search efforts dawned chilly, but clear. Bear was now certain we were looking for a body. Certain of this myself, I wondered what they would have us do? Certainly they didn’t want a bunch of volunteers tromping through possible crime scenes? We were assigned to a group, given a leader and our leader was handed a grid map of the area we were assigned to. It wasn’t any where near the park or the trails. It was actually near where Amber Dubois had disappeared some 13 months ago. Turns out we were not searching for a missing 17-year-old girl on this assignment, but for the possible remains of a 13-year-old girl who had been missing for over a year. We were instructed on what to look for (bones, clothing, shallow graves and such) and what to do when we found something. I listened with stunned disbelief. What am I doing? Can I do this? What if we find bones or a grave? Could I handle it? Could Bear handle it? Our group gathered. Leaving no stone unturned, no holes uninvestigated, and tromping down every inch of vegetation on the overgrown hillside; we searched. Fingertip to fingertip, lined in neat rows, step by slow step for three hours. At times calling to the police officer who was our leader when we found something suspicious. The officer would check what we found. If it warranted further investigation, we tied an orange flag at the area. Bear and I had used up all six of our flags. And then someone’s phone rang. And then another. They had found Chelsea’s body. It was unconfirmed, but we were headed back to search HQ. As hundreds of volunteers milled around, drinking donated water and eating donated food, we waited for word. After a time, quietly, a lead volunteer went from small group to small group. He laid his hands lightly on our backs and stated it was confirmed. We held each other and wept. For her parents, for Chelsea and for our community. We were interviewed by the news. Bear was asked if she knew Chelsea and said no. And then she told him why we had come: That we had to come and that if she was missing she knew her parents would need help. Later that evening, when we saw our snippets played out on the news about how close-knit our community is (me) and Bear’s statements about being there for a stranger’s family who needed help, we cried again.

During the week we watched as our community reeled from the discovery. As news crews filmed in front of our old neighbor’s homes and in front of trail heads where we walked daily. One particularly enraged neighbor was filmed angrily screaming at two boys who painted over some graffiti that was painted on the suspect’s parent’s home. Although I understood his rage (fueled by fear for his children, I am sure); I commended those boys for what they did. No child in the area needed to see that kind of stuff. Parent’s were probably having a hard enough time explaining what was going on to their children. When they replayed that newscast later when everyone was home from work, I found out that the angry, screaming man is Fishboy’s uncle. The threads of this community are inexorably tied into my family.

This past Sunday, as we were decorating for RolyPoly’s baby shower breaking news came on. As we switched to the news channel they announced the remains of Amber Dubois had been found. Bear and I sat on the couch, arms around each other praying out loud that we honestly hoped it wasn’t in the area we had searched. Where we had hung our orange flags. Neither of us thought we could handle that. It wasn’t, but we held each other again. Bear whispered in my ear as I cried for the parents, that she was still here. And I thanked God for that, but as I looked in her eyes I saw it. The loss of her innocence. Gone was that youthful naivete, replaced with a dawning knowledge that her world was not the place she had believed it was.

I am not, in any way, trying to take attention away from the actual victims here: those girls who were abused and beaten; the two girls who’s young lives were taken from them too soon; those families whose lives are forever altered by the loss of a loved one in such a horrific and tragic way. But whoever did this, didn’t just victimize them. They victimized an entire community. They victimized my family too. Our hearts were abused and beaten by the death of these girls. Our memories of a place we considered safe and filled with joy, are now tarnished forever with the stains of the blood of innocence. Our grief and pain is not as great as theirs, but it exists just the same. And after the rage subsides, we will find a way to change things. Change something or anything. Some how, some way we will find a way to help those leading us to make a change that might save lives some day. That is our promise to Chelsea and Amber. And to our community.

WW~A Season Of Giving

This Wordless Wednesday is not so wordless. I wanted to share with you how wonderful my family is by showing you my tree, but without words, it wouldn’t make any sense. This year things are so tight, I wasn’t going to have a tree. Not even a cheapo from the local hardware store. Last weekend, my kids and my mother all got together and conspired to get me a tree. It is all over decorated now with my Great Grandmother’s glass ornaments and the ones we have collected throughout our 27 years of the holidays together. I think it’s beautiful.

I also wanted to remind you all that the Blog • Bid • Hope auction benefiting The Liz Logelin Foundation and Anissa Mayhew. Begins today at the following sites. Adventures in Babywearing, Buried with Children, Mayhem & Moxie, Scary Mommy, 7 Clown Circus, The Extraordinary Ordinary, & Mama’s Losin’ It. Each has a variety of different goodies to auction. Bids start at $10 and bidding ends Friday. If you want to bid on the item I donated from ApronFrenzy, it is listed here at Holiday Baker’s Delight. I gave what I have to give and it circled back to me in the form of this lovely tree. Check out the auctions and see what you can give, if you win an auction the rewards are great.

Christmas 2009


To My Family: You Might Need A Tissue

Mah baybeeeeee she went and got all grown up! How did this happen?

Untitled from Vixen A on Vimeo.

WW ~ Cast?=Yes, Slow Down?=Not A Chance

Just How Did 22 Years Pass So Quickly?

This week’s theme/prompt is: HEADSRecipe
For more participants in Heads or Tails click HERE.

My son has always loved camping. See:

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Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to go in several years. So when he told me all he wanted for his birthday present was to go camping, I knew I better get cooking! So today I share my Recipe for a MacDougal Birthday (his birthday is TODAY!)

(be sure to click on the pictures to embiggen so you can truly appreciate mine and Bear’s photographic talent):

Take some tents (poles ARE required, if you forget them you must go back home and fetch them)

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Add a large dollop of family

Stir well with horseshoes

Sparingly sprinkle in some mountain climbing (careful-don’t overdo)Photobucket

Slowly add ice cold liquid until you get your desired consistency

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Top with some relaxing and fireside comradery

This recipe has been tested and approved by the Birthday Boy MacDougal and his mother

Wordless Wednesday – Fruit Of My Loins Special – View One Get Two Free!

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