Category: Random (Page 2 of 6)
9:00am – Arrive at check in. Receive garbage bags, recycle bags, sweet orange vest, latex gloves, and long grabber thingy. Safety orientation: Don’t touch anything dangerous, watch for snakes, stay hydrated and picture tutorial on what poison oak looks like.
9:05am – Outfitted. Ready to go. Let’s go off alone, pick up garbage and take pictures. Planet saver, that is what I am.
9:10am – It’s warm out. Very little garbage. Lots of pictures.
9:15am – Damn. MP3 player battery died. Who the hell forgot the batteries for that in the car? Too bad extra camera batteries don’t fit. It’s ok. Quiet is good.
9:30am – Man it’s quiet out here. And warm. Why am I talking to myself?
9:45am – Lots of flower pictures. Hey look at that obscure trail. There is probably all kinds of garbage down there. Don’t see any of the other kids around. Kinda getting warm out here.
10:07am – Finding a lot of animal waste/droppings on this trail. No dogs allowed so what could it be? Mountain lion? Oh dear! What if it’s hungry? Can I stab it in the eye with the grabber thingy? Jeez it’s hot.
10:30am – End of trail. Crap, no way out. Who the hell decided I should walk alone? Where is everyone? Where am I? Hell? It’s hot enough.
10:37am – That shortcut ended. Must backtrack. Damn it’s hot.
10:42am – Made wrong turn. Dead end. Should have asked for a map. Back tracking. HOT.
10:50am – I am not going to make it. HOT. HOT. What was that noise in the bushes?
10:52am – Thank heavens. Shady spot in road. Sitting down in middle of road. Finishing last of water. HOT. HOT. HOT.
11:05am – It wasn’t this far out here. Hey, there is a car! Wave. I will just ask for a ride back. Too HOT.
11:06am – Hey, come back! Don’t just wave. I am dying. Thirsty and HOT.
11:15am – What idiot left the extra water bottles in the car!?!?! More rustling in the bushes. Can a person drink rattlesnake blood?
11:24am – Another shady spot in the road. Chest is starting to hurt. Do I have asthma? Wonder how long until they miss me.
11:26am – Can’t call for help. Same idiot left the cell phone in the car. Left arm has a bright red spot where there is no sunscreen. Feels like fire.
11:38am – Shady, grassy, picnic area!!!! Bench!!! BUGS love sweat. Hey, look a candy wrapper.
11:48am – Where the hell do you think you are going? Sit back down. Don’t move. Eventually a park ranger will find you. How can he miss this horrid orange vest?
12:01pm – Free t-shirt??? No I need an ambulance please.
I had a nice hike. I didn’t get much garbage, but some and that is what counts right? It was 90 degrees today. What idiot ordered that weather?
And Miles To Go Before We Sleep has tagged
me the entire blogosphere with the Mimi’s Message In a Bottle Meme.
Here are the rules:
You are about to send a virtual Message In a Bottle across the Blog Ocean. Leave a message in the sand or on the bottle. Write anything you wish. Be a pirate or a poet. Serious or silly. Anonymous or not. What message would you like to send out to the universe?
Thanks to Lesley for pointing me in this direction, because anyone who knows me well, knows this is the truth.
You Are Eggnog
Rich, sweet, and probably a little drunk. Everyone who knows you tends to get a little fatter.
You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree
Christmas is all about showcasing your creative talents.
From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.
Coming soon, the world’s longest post……A true story of faith and miracles. Stay tuned.
This morning I got up and started getting ready. I became increasingly disturbed as I went about my routine. It appeared Fishboy was late also. His car was still here and class had started 45 minutes ago. Also as I glanced across the property I noticed Cousin Its car was still here. Why wasn’t he at work? And his friends car was here, didn’t that dude have a job? What was it with everyone. Continued on my routine, going through my clothes trying to find something to where. Why hadn’t I done any laundry yesterday?
All totalled I went on through this for nearly an hour. Suddenly I stopped in the middle of the room. Wait? Did I take Bear to ride Apache yesterday? What was the score on the football game? Why hadn’t AT done Sunday haiku? **lightbulb going off**
As I threw myself back into bed while wailing I am an idiot. Mr. Vixen says “Why are you up so early? It’s Sunday?!?!?!”
I am sitting here, surfing the internet and watching Fox news. An extremely serious Brit Hume says “blah blah blah…..against American witches.”
Seriously, that is what he said. Then they went to some war story and I realized he said “against American’s wishes.”
Whatever. I really stopped typing to see a story about American Wiccans.
I was visiting Skittles today and found out that on Tuesday’s they play a game called Head’s or Tails. I don’t know if I will play every week, but I felt like it tonight (at least until Heroes comes on, then I am so outta here folks and will finish in the morning).
“Ten Things You Won’t Hear Me Say.”
- Yes, Ladybug, you should put that pea up your nose.
- Hey Lloyd, no one has stolen the blacklight bulb off my porch yet.
- I make more money than I really need.
- Yes, Bear, we can go clothes shopping.
- That rent check is totally good (but I think it every month).
- I know my blood sugar can go higher than 347, I am just not trying hard enough.
- No, I don’t want to watch Heroes.
- I don’t care if my toilet ever works again.
- I never want to go on vacation again.
- I think my next second job should be as an exotic dancer.
Friday is a notoriously slow day in the blogosphere (at least on my site). I was thinking and thinking (and then my brain exploded). After Mr. Vixen swept up the mess and poured it back into my skull, an idea caught hold of the remnants. What if I
copied so many of the really good blogs out there let you all ask a question about me? Something that has been burning you up inside, that you have just been dying to know about us here at the den? I promise I will answer sarcastically honestly. Post your questions in the comments up until Sunday evening and on Monday I will answer your secret desires questions on Monday (another notoriously slow day here at the den). Watcha think?
Edited to add: You know, if no one asks me a question I just might become saddened.
Don’t forget to visit my 365 Project.
It is probably an internet sin or something, but I just don’t have time for a TT this week. Ok, not true, I had time but I had no ideas and I spent valuable time creating a new blog. No, no, no not in place of this one just an addition. I have decided to participate in the 365 Project. I am going to try and keep a journal of my life for 365 days with some words and a picture. You know you all want to see my life in a different way, just like I do right? I have added a tab up there next to the About page, so you can visit my daily journey. You know you are going to be fascinated and you are dying to see if my photographer skills improve!
The first one is up already!